dad memories

One story that keeps coming to mind is from his wake. Of course since it was January in Chicago, the weather was biblical: frigid with snow freezing on the roads. Treacherous. The fence-sitters and the unsteady stayed home—this was a crowd of true dad believers, including California cousins getting a rare drive in icy snow.

Standing in the receiving line, I shook hand after hand. “and how did you know my father?”

I worked for him.

when?

15 years ago.

Excuse me, 15 years ago? And you came out tonite?

I couldn’t not come.

I had to think, were there any bosses I would show up for? Not really.

Dad’s wake was an awakening for me. From the time when I was 9 and fighting with my girlfriends when he told me something that had happened to he and my mom, a true story, and how they got through it, I always knew my dad was special. The wake and funeral showed me how many other people he touched. I was almost jealous. Especially right after he died, when I felt like a raw wound.

It’s been 12 years since he died.

When I think of him now, it’s more positive than sad. I have such fond memories. My dad had huge hands. They weren’t long, but wide, like a catcher’s mitt, and warm. The absolute best way to be woken up was by his big warm paw of a hand gently cradling my head. It was like being slowly, gently pulled from sleep.

teens, driving & sex

A car insurance ad I’ve been seeing says, [emphasis mine]:

Why do most 16-year-olds act like they’re missing a part of their brain?
Because they are.

Even bright, mature teenagers sometimes do things that are “stupid.”

But when that happens, it’s not really their fault. It’s because their brain hasn’t finished developing. The underdeveloped area is called the dorsal lateral pre-frontal cortex. It plays a critical role in decision-making, problem-solving and understanding future consequences of today’s actions. Problem is, it won’t be fully mature until they’re into their 20s.

It’s one reason 16-year-old drivers have crash rates three times higher than 17-year-olds and five times higher than 18-year-olds.

Let’s help our teenagers not miss out on tomorrow just because they have something missing today.

I ask: Why should we expect teens to make sound decisions about sex, much less safe sex?

yay! finally a tart jam

I work out across the street from Zabars. Not even across Broadway. Across 80th. It’s right there. Their tofutti cream of mushroom soup was calling me. I was astounded when I found out there is no cream, none at all. It’s amazing and I swear I feel the protein zing.

Today I rewarded my workout with a quick stop at Zabars. Haven’t done this in a while, I’d almost given up, I looked for a jam or jelly with no sugar. I bought a Zabar’s labeled raspberry fruit spread with little hope. It’s perfectly tart, really mouth scrunching tart. I could feel it as well as taste it. Sweetened by their own sugar released when they’re cooked. Seeds and all, I truly enjoyed my croissant this morning.

the new Edith Piaf movie is amazing

her life was incredibly tragic, it's astounding that she was able to make such beautiful music despite that.

this new yorker article made me want to see the movie and i was not disappointed.

just go!!

Mayor Mike gets risk

Mike Bloomberg, the CEO mayor of NYC who got us out of $4 billion in debt after 9-11 really understands risk and failure, in a way that most at his level simply don't.

"In business, you reward people for taking risks," he said in Business Week recently. "When it doesn't work out, you promote them because they were willing to try new things." Yes, promote, not make the fall-guy. He adds, "If people tell me they skied all day and never fell down, I tell them to try a different mountain."

I've been realizing lately, as much as I hate it, it is in my discomfort zone that I learn, am challenged, and quite frankly, feel most alive.

the self-confidence roller coaster

Once I got to a certain point career-wise, I thought I would always be as self-confident as the situation required. One of the things I'm learning is that as I try different things and stretch myself, my confidence needs to catch up. And the process is scary, annoying, frustrating, and a big ego downer most of the time.

I wanted to pass along a few things that have helped me deal with the uncertainty.

The Artist’s Way—Just because I work in business does not mean I’m not creative. I wept recognizing the symptoms of blocked creativity. Trying to do something differently is a creative process and learning to turn off my inner critic is, well, critical. I find myself constantly mumbling “don’t think, just do.” In fact, I’ve been drawing lately and it’s become my mantra. When I write a document, instead of rethinking, reworking and letting it sit, waiting to be perfect, I try really hard to DO not THINK. As soon as I start thinking, I’m done. I can find a 1000 reasons why it’s not right.

Not only is it important for individuals to stop second-guessing everything we do, it’s even more critical that organizations are more open to risk and even failure. It’s how we learn.

In this constantly changing, quarterly-results-oriented business world, how are we to bridge this gap?

“Teamwork begins by building trust. And the only way to do
that is to overcome our need for invulnerability.”

—Patrick Lencioni
The Five Dysfunctions of a Team

We’re going to make mistakes. We can’t avoid them. We can decide how we’re going to learn from them and move on.

next is now . . . really

I rarely recommend business books because their prose is unwieldy and they can be boringly specific. Next Now, by Marian Salzman, the chief marketing officer at J. Walter Thomson, and Ira Matathia is definitely an exception.

The book covers a broad range of trends, though I concentrated on their new workplace predictions:

• definitely more of the same working anytime anywhere
• office hubs where individuals from many different organizations get services and work
(I really like working in spaces with people who do nothing like what I do, especially artists. On-demand camaraderie when you need it, quiet when you don’t.)
• office design will be more human/eco-friendly (I believe the cos who don’t get this, will find themselves out of business in the next 10-15 years.)
• “balance” finally gets substance behind the rhetoric
• real, true downtime, where we’re not connected
• learning how to create and innovate better.

The companies and individuals that are embracing these trends already have staying power, IMHO.